Updated: Apr 29, 2021
I had a strict plan for today, as I do every day. I found myself getting distracted from a “Processing” status of something I know I have already been approved for. I invited in fear.
I could not let it go. I know. I know. Why stress?
I gave it to God several times over the past few weeks. He turned around to me and told me never to worry about this again after this moment.
Again, I feel into the trap of “Processing” and took back from God. I took back the work that was already done, already “Processing”, already promised by him.
I over analyzed.
I got worked up.
I tried again-for no reason.
I put aside the important things I needed to do today.
I told God: “I got this please leave me alone.”
I fall into this trap often. “Hey, God. I do not see you working, so I cannot wait. I will do it since you seem busy.”
My problem is I say all day “Jesus I Trust in You” and then take it back from him all the things I feel the need to control instead of living in that trust and letting him do the work. How is that Trust in God?
When will I learn my lesson? Today I am this year’s old when I decided to let it go and let God (alright not the first time, but the 8,888,888th time. I am a work in progress.) take control and I will step aside.
I had let these fears take the wheel instead of God holding my hands on the wheel.
Introduction to Level 10.
As I am on this journey of getting myself closer to God, I can feel that my energy has shifted recently.
My thoughts, emotions, dreams have all changed. The places in my mind where I go to for comfort (old memories, old hurts, old doubts) are suddenly no longer there. They have all packed up and on a train to their next destination. I found my mind an empty space with nothing but room for new memories and thoughts. I have found myself in a rebirth.
I have reached Level 10.
With this new space and energy, I can see and feel how my words, thoughts, and dreams are impactful. My loud energy has broken one iPhone, two MacBook Pro’s, a light bulb and a second key to my home.
When my iPhone came back to life it was stuck on an IG video from an influencer, I did not even know I was following. As she was speaking live, I could not get out of the app or do anything else. In my frustration, I sighed and sat and listened. Her asking us to breathe was again not where my headspace was, but I slowly knew I was here for a reason and obliged.
She acknowledged all the things I just stated and said:
“It’s different now because you are at Level 10. The things in Level 9 and below do not work in Level 10. You are in a new space and new place that the other levels do not serve you. You need to learn to live at Level 10 and above, because that is where you are meant to be.”
With that my phone unfroze off the Live Video and I was back to the home screen. This message gave me a homework assignment.
I decided to declutter. I deleted (alright I through it in the cloud with a backup) over 20,000 photos. I made a pile of items to donate that I was holding onto for no reason. I changed my daily morning routine that fits me and not what is expected of me. I decided to live at Level 10.
On my wall in front of my desk is a collage of quotes, scripture, positive affirmations, etc. I heard something drop and fall at my feet. It was the Hebrew meaning of my name.
DEBORAH “The Bee Seeker”
I was being reminded that I am like a Bee.
The bee is here to pollinate lives and learn to live in balance. It defies laws of aerodynamics of what it can do as it is not build that way. It is every day performing a miracle. It is a reminder that I can do the impossible and that is what I was brought here to do. I have nothing to fear.
At Level 10, I choose to stay in the positive as I can see how powerful being at Level 10 can be. My negative thoughts can bring on stronger negative situations. Why can’t I use that to be positive? I now look at the empty space in my head to be filled with plans I told myself I could not have. The accomplishments that are so close, but I took back from God and they are still not moving. I chose to live in faith and let God do the work and accept it no matter what the timing is. My positive thoughts have brought breakthroughs. I continue to work on bringing my negatives to positives from now on.
I accept this new life of living in Level 10.
Thank you, Bees for being my spirit animal showing me that NOTHING can get in my way!
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