• Debby Kruszewski

I am Going Home Tomorrow

Updated: Dec 7, 2021

“I am going home tomorrow”

Mary said in her hospital bed after she suffered her second stroke. Her speech wasn’t a struggle it was the struggle of getting out the right words of what she wanted to say.

“Mary who told you that? I didn’t hear any of the doctors or nurses say that. Where did you hear that from?” I tried to not get her hopes up as we have no idea what damage has occurred to her brain.

“Oh yes, he did. He said I am going home tomorrow.” As she pointed to a blank space in the room. I was scared that she may have some brain damage and going through illusions. No one knew what to say and we just sat in silence. As the doctors and nurses came in throughout the day, I made sure to ask the right questions for the determination of her results leading us to her next destination. I could not imagine her “going home” from this state. Still no defined test results and no answers. I was nervous of what was next.

After a few days of this we all became restless and anxious of Mary’s fate. As we sat in silence I kept my eye on Mary as she was deep in prayer and determination of answers. She put all her fight in these prayers and I felt it.

As much as I moved my attention back and forth from Mary to the door- awaiting for some news I lost myself in thought. That Saturday my thought was broken up by her team of nurses lead by a doctor walking in with their clip boards flipping through papers. The doctor looked up to Mary and said:

“Mary good news your tests came back clean. You are going home tomorrow.”

As much as the inner doctor in me wanted to protest for rehab and more prodding I looked at Mary and her smile was so big. Her body relaxed. She looked into that same blank space in the room and said “thank you”. I then realized she was fine, no illusions. She talking to God the whole time. How did I not see that? Her strength in Fatih always amazed me and made me want to turn my life around to live in such trust. I really believed that I was in trust of God’s vision and plan for myself. The closer I got to God’s word the more I have come to know I am still an amateur at learning to live in Faith and Trust God’s plan for me. Mary walked with Jesus everyday and taught me so many lessons on how to just relax and LISTEN to his word. I envy her relationship with God and hope that my mustard seed of Faith can get me as close as I can to a life of walking with Jesus. The few years after that stroke were difficult for Mary. It started to become harder for her to communicate and she was not able to be as active as she was before the stroke. It was painful to watch. On one of my many walks with Mary after her second stroke she asked me how old she was going to be. “79 this year Mary” I remember saying. Then she replied “Not this one but the next one…. I’m done.” I didn’t need interpretation of that. In November of 2019 at one of our weekly prayer service and our pastor asked if anyone wanted to come up and be prayed over. Mary jumped up and stumbled to the altar. I was privileged to be one of the many that held our hands over her shoulders and ask God to send her love. She wept which I had never seen her cry before. It was moving in a beautiful way. She asked God BOLD prayers and she got her answers. Our friend asked her that Friday night “Mary I am proud that you went up and got prayed over on Wednesday.” Mary replied “Oh he called me directly to come up, he said my name.” She heard the message directly from God. That Saturday Mary suffered another stroke that was sever. On November 26th, 2019 just weeks after her 80th birthday Mary went on her next journey of “going home”. She continued to walk with Jesus. On the morning of her funeral I was awoken by someone holding my hands. As I came aware and out of my REM state I saw the hands let go and walk away with a flash in my face of a white vestment. The same white vestment that Mary was laid to rest in. As with Jesus, Mary never left me and held my hands reminding me to stay in Faith. It hurts that she is physically not here, but she is still with me all the time sending me messages and each time I come across a piece of chocolate, something lemon flavored, a heart, I know that is Mary saying hello. She is brought up a few times a week in conversation, and it always makes me smile. The walks we went on the spots that we stopped at. She always stopped and said a prayer to her favorite verse at the Larchmont Temple. Mary is always reminding me that she is watching over me and the reminder that I am walking with Jesus. I once asked Mary about the ring that she wears as it was intriguing to me. “It’s a rosary ring” she said. “Wow that so beautiful I love that.” I said back to her. She said, “I am going to make sure you have it.” We never spoke of it again. At the funeral Monica, Mary’s sister handed me an envelope with the rosary ring and told me that Mary asked her in a dream to pass it along to me. I am grateful for her to continue to send me love, to remind me that I am walking with Jesus. I learned so much in the short time that I knew Mary. She loved and forgave. She never let her struggles get in her way or burdened anyone with what she needed. She lived in Faith. I am going to say it again SHE LIVED IN FAITH! When she had struggles, she spoke directly to GOD and asked for help and guidance. She trusted his words and walked on his path and now she is where she wants to be in the kingdom of heaven with Jesus and watching over us. May we all have someone in our life that is our “Mary”. Someone who continues to remind us that we always have Jesus walking with us and he will never leave our side. I am blessed to learn how to walk in this path leaning deep on my Faith and have Mary show me the way. God bless you Mary!

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