• Debby Kruszewski

Everybody Hates Chris

Updated: Apr 29, 2021


Everybody Hates Chris

Reinventing myself has been hard process to go through not only for myself, but for others to see what I am doing and what I have gone through. Not everyone can understand where I came from if you haven’t lived it or seen it. Right now, I have an invisible job to most of you. Some people I can’t change the past memory of me or a place of where you need me to be as I have grown past that. I hope that you can see my growth and new skin as I take this path to live my life closer to Chris.

I remember the days when “Everybody hated Chris”.


When I say Chris-I mean me.

I can take this back far, but today I just have the one distinct moment from back in 2014 when my journey took a turn.


When I knew I needed to make changes to live my life in Christ.

Although I didn’t know what that meant just yet. I knew in my heart that Jesus was speaking to me. Asking me to keep him first in my choices, leadership, and direction.

I did my best to listen to his word.

It wasn’t easy.

The right choices were clear.

The bullets I took to save others left scares.

I didn’t see how it could turn ugly to do the right thing.

I didn’t see how to follow the path of Christ could be painful.

I walked a path in blind faith.

You can feel hatred just as much as you can feel love.


Walking down the hallway, watching you turning the corner before I get close.

The whispers.

The snickering smiles as you walk by.

Your office door opening without a knock and the comment of “Oh, you are still here?”

The loud ugly words that are being said behind your back.

The realization you are an outsider in the team you built and trusted.

The decision you made for their greater good.

The ultimate sacrifice I was about to make for husbands and wives to keep bread on their tables.

How did it go from doing good to being an enemy of state?

I was losing faith in myself during this time.

As tough as I tried to act, I was broken inside.

I turned to Jesus who whispered in my ear “You are doing the right thing.” I kept walking on my path.

The day came of signing legal documents as the leaders who betrayed for their own selfish reasons are now on the other side of the table. I looked them in the eyes as they looked down. I was not upset or surprised to be going through this moment. I was upset how they turned the tables to make me the bad guy for their wrongdoing.


That is what really hurt the most.


After the long morning the weight on my shoulders still existed, it was not my baggage to own any more. I wondered from the West Side of Manhattan up and down the streets to ultimately land at a random coffee shop. I stared at the wall as I waited for my drink to be prepared and listened to a voice on my left. It was familiar, but I could not place his face. There was something calming about his presence.


“Looks like you have a lot on your mind.” He said to me.

“Yeah, very hard day for me. I walked away from my job today.”


“Ouch, well I am sure you made the right decision. Just keep that in your heart.” I took a moment to think about that statement. It made sense. I turned back to the man and he was gone.

"You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." John 13:7


Fast Forward to 2019

Pre-Pandemic when I could show up at a friend’s house for afternoon tea and conversation. That day another “Everyone Hates Chris*” was mentioned. My first reaction had no thought to it.


“Oh yeah, glad that guy is gone. Everyone hated him.”

“Oh no, you are mistaken. He was wonderful and beautiful man. It is a shame that someone started up a “hate train” for him and how many people joined in. He had nothing but love in his heart and always did what was best for others.

In this moment I could not have been more ashamed of myself. I embarrassingly never got the chance to know him. I don’t think I could pick him out of a line-up. My thoughts quickly took me back to 2014 when I stood in a coffee shop with that familiar voice. It was Chris.


“I am so ashamed of myself. I had no idea how wonderful he was. I am not ever sure what happened to him.” I said as a confession.


“It was horrible. He did this amazing thing for the team and one person was jealous and started rumors about him. He was moved to another location the day before Christmas. Can you imagine that? The day before Christmas. He left his family and friends to come here for this job and this is how he is thanked. I caught him crying to himself when he got off that devastating call. It broke my heart. I couldn’t do anything to fix it. I just held him and shared his disappointment.”


I went home and sat in tears of how horrible of a person I was to join this train of hatred towards Chris without even knowing his story, especially the sacrifice he made to give all of himself to a job that betrayed him for no reason.


That day I could feel nothing but disappointment in myself and what I had done to hurt someone.

Reflecting back to that day I saw him in the city, I saw how he was able to forgive me. God always puts us in a place where we can have forgiveness when we need it. I am grateful for that encounter.


So where am I today?

Each day I wake up grateful for the decisions I made.

Good ones and even the bad ones.

The stupid ones, and even the WTF was I thinking decisions.

As I am on my journey I continue to reflect on seasons of where I need to ask for forgiveness and even give forgiveness.


During the past year I have had a few emails, texts, calls, etc. from that job I walked away from in 2014.

“I didn’t know what you were doing or went through, but I now know you left to secure our jobs. I am grateful.”


I didn’t ask for it, it came to me. I am grateful for the choices I have made.


I am grateful for the forgiveness.

In our world of hate,

misunderstanding,

quick judgments,

divide,

holding grudges,


Choose Love.

Choose Forgiveness.

Choose God first.


I hope this was helpful. Please like, share, and comment below. I love to hear from you!


*to keep this anonymous situation and names have been changed.

I hope this was helpful. Please like, share, and comment below. I love to hear from you!


I would love to hear from you! Please leave a comment below and follow me on social media. You can sign-up for my newsletter and updates on my contact page. Thanks again for reading my post!

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